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Missing—a memoir
( Northwestern University Press)
"Cornelia Spelman's gentle, lyrical prose belies the haunting nature of her story, a searing, honest search for the lost pieces of her family's story. Missing is a book that both comforts and astounds. It's memoir writing at its absolute finest." Alex Kotlowitz, author There Are No Children Here
"It's a wonderful book...beautifully modest, humble before the immensity of private lives--mature, alive, and deeply felt. I read it almost in one sitting--it was a lovely, haunting way to enter a day, a book that makes one aware of how precious a day's time is." Stuart Dybek, author of The Coast of Chicago
"One reason that one wants to read a memoir is to be in the company of the narrator and I think Cornelia Maude Spelman does a wonderful job of guiding us through the story, of making us, too, want to board the night train and go on that journey. I admire the honesty with which she allows herself to be a character in the story and the delicacy with which she treats the other members of her family. A beautiful and enlightening book." Margot Livesey, author of The House on Fortune Street and Eva Moves the Furniture.
Cornelia Maude Spelman's memoir of her family springs from a meeting and subsequent friendship with the late, legendary New Yorker editor William Maxwell. In the late 1920's , he and her parents had been friends as undergraduates at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. When Spelman hints at what she thinks of as the failure of her parents' lives, he counters that "in a good novel one doesn't look for a success story, but for a story that moves one with its human drama and richness of experience." At their final meeting, Maxwell encourages her to tell her mother's story. Missing is Spelman's response to Maxwell's wisdom. With the pacing of the mystery novels her mother loved, and using everything from letters and interviews to the family's quotidian paper trail--medical records, telegrams, and other oft-overlooked clues to a family's history--Spelman reconstructs her mother's life and untimely death. Along the way, she unravels mysteries of her family, including the fate of her long lost older brother. Spelman skillfully draws the reader into the elation and sorrow that accompany the discovery of a family's past. A profoundly loving yet honest elegy, Missing is, like the woman it memorializes, complex and beautiful.
Chicago Tribune review: http://www.chicagotribune.com/entertainment/books/chi-books-missing-spelman,0,1291710.story
ForeWord review: http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_7028/is_2010_Dec_19/ai_n56526055/
BOOK CLUB DISCUSSION QUESTIONS;
- What do you think was the author's purpose in writing the book?
- Do you think that finding out about your parents as people would help you reach forgiveness for their failings? Do you think forgiveness is the goal, or understanding?
- What role does William Maxwell occupy in the book? Have you had someone in your life who occupied a similar role?
- Do you think that Frank tried to kill his mother? Why or why not?
- How do you understand Pop's behavior? Do you think that he loved his wife?
- How do you think a death in the family affects subsequent generations?
- What role does gender play in the story?
- Do you agree or disagree with the author's conclusion that her grandfather's death was a major factor in her mother's later troubles?
- How important do you think it is to express and share emotions with another person?
- Why do you think the social security clerk divulged information to the author?
- What would you like to find out about your own mother' s life, and what steps can you take to do so?
Watch a two-minute book trailer for MISSING:
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When I Miss You
"In this picture book from the well-received 'The Way I Feel' series, Spelman offers support for children with separation anxiety and, in a note to parents and teachers, practical advice for helping children cope.
Ages Preschool-Grade 1/ Softcover ISBN 978-0-8075-8903-8/$6.99 24 pages 8x10
NEW! Board Book Edition! ISBN 978-0-8075-8904-5/$7.99 16 pgs 8 X 8
A little guinea pig narrates, telling her parents how she feels and how she comforts herself when they leave her at day care or with a babysitter. She even mentions how unsettling a parent's business trip can be. While acknowledging anger and sadness ('Missing you is a heavy, achy feeling'), the text and illustrations show the little guinea pig moving beyond her initial despondency into play, laughter, and good times, including the happiness of being reunited. Few picture books deal with this common childhood trial in such a helpful way. acknowledging the emotions and providing reassurance. The lively illustrations feature lively line drawings washed with warm, glowing colors, drawn with a keen eye for the child's world. A good resource for parents and a natural choice for children who will take comfort in finding their emotions mirrored in a picture book." Carolyn Phelan, Booklist Winner of the Oppenheim Toy Portfolio Gold Seal award, 2005
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When I Feel Jealous
"Jealousy is a prickly, hot, horrible feeling," says a little bear in the sixth book in "The Way I Feel" series of picture books.
Ages 3-6 24 pages 8x10 Hardcover 978-0-8075-8886-4 $15.99 Softcover 978-0-8075-8902-1 $6.95
Education about how to identify and handle our emotions, especially those that are unpleasant or frightening (and jealousy is one of the most unpleasant) is as important as other kinds of learning. When I Feel Jealous, featuring illustrator Kathy Parkinson's lovable animal drawings, will help parents and teachers raise the issue of jealousy--of a new baby, of friends, of possessions--with young children and help them manage this common feeling. School Library Journal wrote, "Perfect for units and discussions on feelings." Booklist wrote: "The sympathetic portrayal of common childhood experiences and the simplicity of the narrative make the information and advice accessible, even to preschoolers. Spelman addresses parents and teachers in a note, discussing how to help children acknowledge and deal with jealousy. With Parkinson's appealing illustrations of dressed animals putting a child-friendly face on the message, this is a good title for school and public libraries to have on hand."
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When I Feel Good About Myself
Illustrated by Kathy Parkinson
Ages 3-6/ Hardcover ISBN 0-80758887-3 / $15.99 Paperback ISBN 0-8075-8901-2 / $6.95
"I feel good about myself. Somebody loves me just as I am. I don't have to look like anyone else, be the same size, or do the same things. It's fine to be me." Cornelia Maude Spelman's newest title in "The Way I Feel" series offers children positive and upbeat examples about the value of being themselves. A young guinea pig and friends show how they feel good about themselves in common situations that will be easy for readers to relate to. The text and art aim to foster self-esteem and independence. An excerpt from the note for parents and teachers in When I Feel Good About Myself says: "While it's nice to have a special talent, those children who don't have one need to know that they are just as valuable as those who do. We don't want our children to feel that in order to be loved they must be something they are not. And competition over things one cannot control, like one's physical attributes, only causes anxiety." School Library Journal wrote: "The book could serve as a healthy reminder of the importance of treating oneself and others with respect."
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When I Feel Sad
Illustrated by Kathy Parkinson
Ages 3-6/ Hardcover ISBN 0-80758891-1 / $15.99 Softcover ISBN 0-8075-8899-4 / $6.99
Included in the 2003 edition of "The Best Children's Books of the Year" by the Children's Book Committee at Bank Street College, and winner of the Oppenheim Toy Portfolio Gold Award, this addition to "The Way I Feel" series of picture books aims to help children identify and manage their emotions and relate successfully to others. School Library Journal (January 2003) opined: "An excellent note to parents and teachers precedes this story, in which a guinea pig lists situations that cause her to feel sad. "I feel sad when someone won't let me play, or when I really want to tell about something and nobody listens." Children will relate to her feelings and the accompanying illustrations will draw them in to the story. Artwork done with soft lines and muted colors reflects the mood and conveys the emotions of this forlorn little creature. All of the characters, clad in patterned clothing, are charmingly rendered. Readers are reassured that "everyone feels sad sometimes," that there are ways to feel better, and that sadness eventually goes away. This is a well-constructed and useful resource for family and classroom sharing."
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When I Feel Scared
Illustrated by Kathy Parkinson
Ages 3-6/ Hardcover ISBN 0-8075-8890-3 / $15.99 Paperback ISBN 0-8075-8900-4 / $6.95
NEW! BOARD BOOK EDITION! ISBN 978-0-8075-8905-2/ $7.99 16 pgs. 8 X 8
A bear child describes situations that bring about fear--such as bad dreams or tall slides--how it feels to be scared, and what can make things better. "The short, well-reasoned narrative, child-centered point of view, and practical suggestions make this a good choice for preschoolers." - Booklist When I Feel Scared was featured on the CBS Early Show in September as part of a program about helping children deal with the anniversary of September 11th. Also, in the newsletter of the Bank Street Bookstore, Sara Yu wrote: "Wonderfully written for the youngest children, this gentle book reassures kids that it's okay to feel scared and encourages them to tell someone about their fears." Included in the 2003 edition of "The Best Children's Books of the Year" by the Children's Book Committee of Bank Street College.
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When I Care About Others
Illustrated by Kathy Parkinson
Ages 3-6/ Hardcover ISBN 0-8075-8889-X / $14.95 Paperback ISBN 0-8075-8889-9 /$6.95
A little bear explains that he cares about the feelings of others and that others care about him, in a story that teaches young children empathy. In today's society, perhaps more than ever, young children need to develop empathy. In this simple book, the author begins by helping children see that when they are sick, hurt, or unhappy, others care about them. Children can then begin to see that others need to be cared about as well. Common situations will further a child's appreciation for and understanding of what others feel and need. "This charming title in "The Way I Feel" series will help youngsters identify and understand the basic concepts and importance of receiving and offering help and emotional support. A little bear describes familiar situations, such as being hurt, sick, or feeling sad, and explains how he was helped or how he offered sympathy and kindness to someone else. The text is very simple, and the 'treat others as you would like to be treated' concept is well conveyed--from playground teasing ('I don't like to be teased so I don't tease') to helping out. The cheerful, colorful art features a cute, expressive animal cast showing ageappropriate ways to express caring and kindness, including sharing one's bike and bringing feelbetter flowers. An introduction and an endnote, "Promoting Empathy," provide adults with suggestions for encouraging and engaging kids in positive interactions, selfexpression, and understanding." - Booklist This title was included in the 2003 Edition of "The Best Children's Books of the Year" by the Children's Book Committee at Bank Street College of Education.
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When I Feel Angry
Illustrated by Nancy Cote
Ages 3-6/ Hardcover ISBN 0-8075-8888-1/ $15.99 Softcover ISBN 0-8075-8897-0/ $6.99
2000 Gold Seal Award, Oppenheim Toy Portfolio
"This gentle book puts an adorable bunny in a variety of situations that preschool or grade-school children can relate to. Instead of acting out, though, the bunny and her friends find constructive ways to deal with their anger." - Booklist "Through simple language, a young rabbit relates the things that make her angry and the positive ways in which she can deal with her emotions. The situations are realistic and will strike a familiar chord with most children." - School Library Journal "A nearly perfect book about anger for young children, this resource lists common reasons children feel angry and also gives very concrete ways for children to cope. The author offers many appropriate suggestions for dealing with the feelings and the situations that generate the anger. The illustrations feature simple and colorful animal characters." - Reviews from Parent Council, Spring/Summer 2000 NEW! Now in paperback, Spring 2004 (ISBN 0-8075-8897-0 $6.95 USA, $10.95 Canada) NEW! In paperback, Spring 2004
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Your Body Belongs to You
Illustrated by Teri Weidner
Ages 3-6/ Paperback ISBN 0-8075-9473-3/ $6.95
"A good, solid book on the subject and one of the few appropriate for this age group." - Booklist "This book is positive and assertive without being frightening." - School Library Journal "This book should be a help for a parent or childcare worker, with its clear, matter-of-fact, non-threatening language and pleasant, comfortable pictures." - Provident Book Finder A "PBS Parents Recommended" book on Health and Safety.
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Mama and Daddy Bear’s Divorce
Illustrated by Kathy Parkinson
Ages 3-6/ Hardcover ISBN 0-8075-5221-6/ $15.99
Paperback ISBN 0-8075-5222-4/ $6.95
When Mama and Daddy Bear tell Dinah that they are getting a divorce, Dinah is very sad and scared. Where will Daddy go? Will she see him again? Over time, though, Dinah learns that while Daddy isn't living with them anymore, many of the best things stay the same: Mama will always be her mama, Daddy will always be her daddy, and they love her very much. "A sensitive book that should have wide use." - Booklist "This book provides reassurance that, as painful and confusing as a divorce may be, it does not mean that both parents will no longer be part of a youngster's life." - School Library Journal "A good book for anyone facing divorce with young children." - The Children's Literature Newsletter One of "10 Helpful Books About Divorce" recommended by americanbaby.com.
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Talking About Child Sexual Abuse
Talking About Child Sexual Abuse, by Cornelia Spelman, is a pamphlet published by Prevent Child Abuse America. You can order it at this site: http://shop.pcaamerica.channing-bete.com/onlinestore/storeitem.html?iid=172546&item=Talking+About+Child+Sexual+Abuse
Talking About Child Sexual Abuse
- explains the signs and behavior children may exhibit that indicate abuse
- outlines an approach for discussing abuse with a child
- provides instructions for screening baby sitters and child-care centers
- offers guidance on reporting suspected abuse
- counsels adults who were sexually abused as children
